Back in 1990, I found myself in a really bad
situation. Two years of heavy overtime at work plus two boys under the
age of five had me completely burned out. I felt like I was letting my
family down because I spent so much time at work, and I felt like I should be
spending more time at work because we were so far behind. I also found
that the stress was affecting the way I treated some of the people around
me. It was a no win situation and, as a result, I fell into a deep
depression. I found myself wondering, "Why is this happening to
me?" Since I wasn't a Christian at the time, I had no answers.
I did realize that I needed to take a long hard look at my life and my
behavior, so I talked to my boss about setting some more reasonable hours, and
I also began to read the Bible. At the time, I was just looking for
answers, but I now know that this was God's work in my life.
At this point I got involved with the
Rutherford County adult literacy program and began tutoring someone. A
local Church of Christ allowed us to use one of their classrooms, and it was
there that I met their education minister. I asked him what they based
their teachings on, and he told me "The Bible - nothing more, nothing
less". That was all I needed to hear. It was a breath of fresh
air to hear the pulpit minister preach - let's open up the Bible and see what
it says! After attending church for about a year, I was baptized into
Christ in November 1996.
Two months
later, the unthinkable happened. Someone very dear to me died suddenly
and tragically. Devastated doesn't even begin to describe the way I
felt. The next year was the hardest year of my life, and without my faith
and my obedience to the Scriptures through baptism I don't know what would have
happened to me. As I look back on it now, I know the answer to the
question I asked back in 1990: "Why is this happening to me?"
All the events leading up to my baptism were for my benefit, to give me the
faith and strength to survive what was to come. When I think of this, I
recall the words of Joseph. He had every right to be angry with his
brothers for selling him into slavery, but instead he saw God's purpose at
work. In Genesis 45:7-8, Joseph tells his brothers "God sent me ahead of you to preserve for you a remnant on
earth and to save your lives by a great deliverance. So then, it was not
you who sent me here, but God."
When something bad happens, it's natural to
wonder "Why me?" When a family member is sick, a friend dies,
or you read about some senseless tragedy, you may think, "Where is God in
all this?" Trust me, He is right there! Paul said this about
God in Acts 17:26-28: "From one man he
made every nation of men, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he
determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should
live. God did this so that men would seek him and perhaps reach out for
him and find him, though he is not far from each one of us. For in him we
live and move and have our being." God can give meaning and purpose
to even the worst things in life, because "we know that in all things God
works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his
purpose" (Romans 8:28).
